Little Moments

It is one of Gabe’s many coffee-related dreams to be a regular. To walk into a coffee shop as a known customer, to not even have to order your coffee, and to have a lasting and continuous connection with the barista. He’s definitely had glimpses of being a regular in his life: at Juliano’s on the Upper East Side in Manhattan right by Gabe’s gym with the quirky, Italian owner/barista, or more recently with the folks at Stone Creek Factory store as it has become his satellite office.

For Saúl, the regular status has yet to be achieved in a coffee setting. He does think he’s achieved it in the burger realm. He can comfortably say that he’s a regular at Oscar’s Pub and Grill (the one at Pierce, next to Marquette). Staff say hello, catch up, and he’s even played on a soccer team with one of the servers (shout out to Pedro). For Saúl, the friendships formed that come from being a regular (although steeped in the transactional nature of your presence) really transcend and help you regulate your emotions and create relationships with people outside of work and family. When you’re a regular, you’ll know. Saúl would now like to commit to being a regular at a local coffee shop this year. 

Beyond our own hopes and dreams, why does being a regular feel so alluring to those who desire it and so comforting to those who have it?

As humans, we thrive on connection, both the types of relationships that deeply define us (family, friends, etc.) and the ones that might seem more surface or light. The latter, defined in some academic literature as “weak ties” (sorry, but we are academics at heart), can be powerful elements of our well-being.

What better way to build these connections than over coffee? Sure, we can probably call to mind movies or personal experiences in which we bonded, chatted, debated, or worked over some java. Interactions with cashiers and baristas might be more momentary, but can be wonderful weak ties bolstering our experience in a cafe, our mood, and our days.

In this vein, for our post this week, we decided to share our own favorite little “weak tie” coffee shop moments. We’re hoping to encourage you as well to share your own favorite ones!

Saúl:

Tosta de Aguacate and Cortado

I went to Spain last year. I spent a month in September and another month in December. Suffice it to say that I was able to relish in the amazing coffee and coffee shops in the city. Waking up and finding a Cortado at every corner was just delightful. My time in Madrid was an illuminative experience for personal and academic reasons. Cooped up in an attic in the mythical neighborhood of Lavapies I found solace in my writing and in my daily cortado and Tosta de Aguacate (Avocado Toast). The coffee shop was called Donde da la vuelta el viento (Where the wind turns) and in the month I spent in Lavapies I was able to create a small ritual. Overtime, I was able to chat with the barista and cashier. I forget his name now, but I remember he was from Venezuela and had arrived in Spain fairly recently. He was always friendly and went to the nearby supermarket, we would nod our heads in a sign of the daily saludo (greeting). And it was that daily coffee and breakfast that really helped me start my morning in a positive light. 

And that is the beautiful part of traveling. When we travel we bring our little rituals with us. Our morning coffee may have a different view, but the importance is in the small connections we build. But you don’t have to travel far to start appreciating the little moment. Even when I am in Milwaukee, there is always space to enter in reflection about the little moments that make you feel at home. 

Gabe:

You’d think as a parent of young kids, when I travel I sleep in. You’d be wrong. 

So, one of my favorite travel planning activities is to look up good coffee shops nearby to where I will be staying, sort them by which are open the earliest, and plan my morning work sessions. A few years ago I was in San Diego and found what looked like the perfect spot right at the foothills of the University of San Diego (where the meeting was): open aired and sunny, sharing space with a kombucha spot, and open early. I, of course, showed up two minutes after they opened at 7 am.

I was greeted by a friendly, 6’6 barista with some serious west coast vibes (at least in my mind’s stereotype). We spent five minutes talking - without noise, no other patrons, and no rush - as I learned about the owner, the relationships he had been a part of building with Costa Rican farmers, and some of their coffees. 

The next two days, I was there each morning right at 7 am (dropped the 2 minutes later sham) and had a nice quick chat before settling in with my laptop at a table by the window. 

I didn’t catch a name (or don’t remember it) and will probably never see the guy again in my life, but what a positive lift it was each morning, a nice way to set the stage for a life-giving time at the training, and a memory that will stick with me. The warm feeling from it comes back to me every time I see the empty bag from the coffee I bought there sitting amongst my collection in my office.

What does this have to do with Milwaukee? The experience made me reflect on all the baristas across the city I don’t know and want to get to know them a little bit more or at least make a little more connection. So, I try to make an effort to share a laugh, learn something, just connect, or at least express my thanks now whenever I am in any MKE place for brew. 

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Below, please leave a comment or share a positive moment of connection you have shared with a barista or with a patron if you are one of our lay gods who make our coffee (i.e., barista).

Note: In the vein of this post, we will be looking to highlight a local barista for our next interview and nominations are welcome!